“The relationship between husband and wife should be one of closest friends” – B. R. Ambedkar
Marriage isn’t a naturally occurring phenomenon; it isn’t something that occurs in the nature in between animals. It is something we humans have created and have hence become socially accepted and replicated ever since. Why do people still commit to this sort of a social contract then, if it is such an old and man-made institution? Maybe it’s faith, faith in a God above who oversees us in our everyday lives or maybe it’s faith in that emotion itself, the emotion that binds people together; when it’s true & real there is nothing quite like it in this world and it truly makes living your life a joy and a blessing. The emotion I’m talking about is of course love itself.
Love can be of different types, a love that is just focused on our exterior or body. Another type of love is one which treats each other as an equal. And thirdly is a love that is self sacrificing in nature, in which you live your life simply for the benefit of the other and to serve them.
So love may have brought you two together, culminating in a married relationship no less. But years later in the middle of the night or after a bitter fight that leaves both of you cold and distant, is the time certain doubts start creeping up on you, you begin to think perhaps that former emotion, the love that had brought you two together has gone out of your lives or perhaps has changed from its past form. And perhaps it is this singular bitter and annoying thought that strains every marriage and relationship to the brink of dissolution itself. Your marriage is like your house. If you don’t maintain it well, it will slowly deteriorate.
So what do you do now?
Well author Philip D Cole says in ‘Discovering A More Intimate Response’ that for a relationship to be strong and stay on solid ground, it needs three main elements – communication, confidence & commitment. Communication as the old adage goes isn’t just about talking; it’s about listening too, being more receptive to your partner’s verbal and non verbal responses. Confidence means putting trust and having belief in yourselves and your partner to maintain this relationship in the rightful sense as the higher & mystical powers meant it to be. And speaking about commitment, it is the individual element of your everyday blessing which has the glue to hold together all the different aspects of your relationship.
The author acknowledges that although this blessing can make a tremendous difference in your marriage, it does take time and hard work to pull these principles off these pages and apply them with your spouse in your relationship. Even so, you know you won’t regret even a minute of the time you spend cultivating each of the elements in your home, especially when you see the end result; the bountiful harvest of love and happiness that arrive in hoards to your household.
What Philip D Cole manages to do so successfully well in this book is not just to provide the right answers but also showing that he has the deep insight to ask all the right questions too. And that he manages to do so while narrating in a neutral voice and without sounding condescending or blaming a particular gender for all travails that ails a relationship is simply put, a remarkable achievement.
Quirky chapter names and a narrative that doesn’t become preachy at any point and the input of the right amount of off handed humour at all the right places are what make this book a real page turner. Philip has rightfully acknowledged the influence his wife Carol had in shaping up this wonderful book on marriage and relationships and it clearly shows while reading certain passages when you feel this direct connection to the happenings in the examples and stories with your own life. The ‘time to reflect’ segment at the end of each chapter beautifully summarizes each chapter and it motivates you to approach these ‘questions’ honestly with your partner.
I definitely recommend this book to anyone who is looking for personal development and emotional and spiritual growth while becoming complete in God for yourself and your partner.
- Paperback: 150 pages
- Publisher: Outskirts Press (March 19, 2014)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 1478728795
- ISBN-13: 978-1478728795