“Life without caution is like a car without brake.” – Bamigboye Olurotimi
There’s this silent epidemic that has been sweeping through our societies since almost the beginning of the creation of such gated communities, one whose existence we all silently continue to acknowledge as the thing that ‘exists’ in our midst but there has never been a real serious or a vocal enough attempt to address the issue or even find a remedy to it. The epidemic I’m talking about is of course, extramarital affairs whose stranglehold on our society is so strong that certain experts say almost 50% of all spouses have become victims to infidelity directly or indirectly one time or the other. And another worrying statistic is that the chances of an average relationship ending in divorce are far less than them having to deal with an affair at some level. Most extra marital affairs have attraction as an element that is more often than not the driving force that kick starts the chain reaction of things to come. Attraction usually and mostly happens with someone you know well and spend time with on a regular basis; in most cases it being a friend or a colleague. This is perhaps because attraction doesn’t merely include the physical part but also the emotional part as well, when a spouse who gets real conversations and genuine affection from someone other than their respective other, it becomes the driving force behind an affair. Most people consider sex as a minor player in the larger scheme of things in reasons why people cheat on each other but the fact that sex is also a very strong reason why people have affairs can’t also be ignored completely.
A problem that often plagues us individually and for us in a relationship is when we ‘zone out’ of everything important and don’t give the necessary attention that each important element in our lives so rightfully deserves. Dissociation is a form of selective attention and imagination. If we are not careful, we will never be able to learn, make connections in thought, or even develop the right intuition that is essential to relationships. That is why it is often said that it is impossible to stumble into an affair if we were all really honest about our needs & feelings.
Author Edward F. Mrkvicka Jr’s book No Innocent Affair deals with adultery and extra marital affairs, he addresses the fact that adultery can lead to the destruction of a marriage. He uses scriptures, his own contemplative thoughts and personal experiences as examples in his role as a pastor who has had to deal with families affected by adultery to bring out a book that deals with adulterers and the victims in a head on manner and offers steps that will lead to repentance and forgiveness which will hopefully lead back to salvation for the individuals with God and with each other.
The book offers plenty of advice in a non confrontational and non preachy voice; also looking at the issues that precipitated the straying outside the marital bonds is a necessity not only to ensure future fidelity of the spouse, but also to bring about healing and oneness for the individual and the possibility of a deeper and lasting relationship with the betrayed spouse. Edward encourages you to be honest with each other so that both the parties can embark upon the rest of their lives in a more faithful and trustworthy manner. So naturally, trust building becomes the initial focus. And yet, real trust can only happen over time.
So this is the time when you are called upon to reach down for a new level of inner strength. The answer to all of this lays in the scriptures and examples that Edward F. Mrkvicka Jr has so painstakingly and generously compiled in his book. For people who are still struggling in the aftermath of adultery and its repercussions this book will help you give voice to your struggle.
I recommend this book to all who have indulged in some form of adultery or betrayed their partner’s trust, reading this book will prepare you for all the struggles that you will have to face in order to save your marriage. It will also help the aggrieved party to begin the process of healing. There’s another segment of the population who will benefit from reading No Innocent Affair and they are people who haven’t yet treaded on the path of infidelity but have contemplated it or have at least cheated on their spouse in their mind, they too need to read the book to find out the sheer amount of pain and suffering your actions will leave on your spouse, which will hopefully act as a deterrent in stopping you from crossing the sacred lines.
Go and buy this book today if you are in a relationship, this easy to read and yet powerful book may be the best gift that you can gift to your significant other and then watch the passion, love and trust return to your relationship like it was always meant to be.
Perfect Paperback: 200 pages
Publisher: Tate Publishing (September 20, 2011)